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Pet Peeve No. 1: How We Say Goodbye

6/5/2016

3 Comments

 

I'm going to start off our discussion on pet peeves. with one about the choices made when a pet is euthanized. It's open to all pet owners, or anyone who works with animals. It doesn't matter where you live. If there's a pet peeve that chaps your hide, tell me about it. 

Here's the first one that caught my eye. 
From Katoe: 
If I had a dollar for every person who refused to be present for their pet's euthanasia, I would be rich with dollars and white hot rage.

This is not an option--you be there, or you're selfish and maybe don't love your pet quite like you thought you did. Your pet gave you their whole life. You don't deserve all those good times if you can't be there for them the one time they truly need you. People say, "I'll be too sad." Yeah, I don't care. Go, and be sad, and BE THERE for your pet.

Even worse are people who dump a terminal pet at the shelter for someone else to deal with. If there is a worse betrayal, I can't think of it.  



This is from an anonymous reply to Katoe's post that shared a different point of view:

I understand where you are coming from but this is a personal decision and does in no way mean that a person undervalues their pet's worth. Some people like to remember their pet as a a living being and sometimes the euthanasia process can disturb people. I do agree that dumping pets for convenience euthanasias is really sad but let us also remember there are 2 sides to every story.

I applaud you for being present for your pets and admire your loyalty to them (I also am one who will always be present for my pets) but not everyone can handle the emotional side effects.



I agree with Katoe on this. For some people, it's too hard to be present for such a gut-wrenching moment of loss.  

As for people who take their old or sick dogs to the animal shelter, shame on you. The least you can do is spend the money to let your vet euthanize your pet. It's such a betrayal to leave them in that environment because you can't or won't spend the money. Borrow it if you have to, it's just cowardly and cruel to do that to your pet. 

After you read it, please share some of your experiences in the comment section. How do you handle the saddest part of having a pet in your lives? Maybe your story will be a blessing to others who are facing this moment. Maybe there are things you tell yourself, or something you've read besides "The Rainbow Bridge" to ease your pain. 


My Story

When I was little, I had no choice in the matter. I didn't realize the importance of being present. I'm sad to say that we euthanized our pets without one of us in the room with them.

PictureMolly, my mixed-breed German Shepherd Animal Photography by Peggy Foster gotpets.net
Now, I always stay with my dogs to the end. I need to back up a few years to explain why I decided to be there. It started with my dog Amber and later, Molly. ​

Amber, my golden retriever, became ill almost overnight. Her stomach was full of fluid. My vet called and gave me the details. There was nothing to be done.

He said that he could just put her to sleep while she was still under sedation. I told him not to. If he could make it, so she wasn't in pain, I needed to see her one last time. 

That was probably selfish of me, but I had a reason: On surgery day, we got out of the car, and she yanked back on her leash. She had never done that.  It surprised me, and I dropped the leash. She ran to the car and climbed in through the passenger window. Something else she's never done. 

She didn't want to go in. It's almost like she could sense this would be our last time together. She was afraid and shaking. I sat with her in the car for a few minutes and then got her out. She fought to stay with me when the vet tech took her back. 

She broke my heart, and I believed I broke hers. 


I just couldn't live with myself knowing that the last time she saw me, she was begging me to leave. He said it would not hurt her to wake up. She still had an IV.

When I got there, she was lying in a kennel on a bed with blankets on top of her. When she saw me, her face softened, and she wagged her tail. I sat with her and told her how much she meant to me. I kissed her face and scratched her ears. When her breathing became labored, My vet gave her the shot. In a breath, she was gone. 

I've been with all of my dogs since. I always make sure they are given a sedative first. I was with a friend once when she euthanized her dog. She asked for a sedative for her dog. The vet used Propofol. I didn't like that drug because it only caused a decreased level of consciousness for a short period. Her dog never fell into a deep sleep.

I had a vet that always made sure my dogs went into a sweet, sound sleep so I could spend time with them. When my dog Molly was euthanized, my vet used a combo of small amounts of Atropine, Ketamine, Tylenol, Midazolam and Acepromazine. It left me plenty of time to kiss her, hold her and thank her for all the joy, fun, unconditional love and companionship she gave me.

I told that I was glad that I was able to give her a lifetime of being loved and spoiled by my husband and me.  
It's a life I wish humans could experience.

Most vets don't rush you in those last moments. Mine have let me stay in the exam room for as long as I liked. When there was nothing left for me to say and I was sure her last memory was of me, I asked the vet to give her the final shot.

I know others just can't handle the emotion with comes from being there, but I wouldn't be any other place. With Amber, I realized that I wanted the last face she saw was to be the person she loved the most and the person who loved her the most. ​
3 Comments
Paula Lutts
6/5/2016 03:43:03 pm

I will return with my reply. I have an opinion about this post. It is rather long & need time to post.

Reply
chays
6/5/2016 04:13:15 pm

I have been with both my boys Alvin and josh in their last moments in this earth. Alvin was sick, and died in my arms before he could be sedated. My vet let me stay with both my boys as long as I needed. To this day, it breaks my heart to think about those days. But I would not have been any other place. Josh was diagnosed with cancer just a week after Alvin passed away. I was told that I would know when it was time, and the vet told me the signs to look for. They said maybe 30 days. It was right about that time that all the signs were there and I knew it was time to let him go to rainbow bridge to be with Alvin. My vet gave Josh a sedative, and he drifted off to sleep. Once I was ready, and had said my goodbyes they gave him the last injection.

I chose to have both my boys cremated in a private cremation and their ashes returned to me. I could not imagine doing anything else. It gave me some comfort knowing that they were back in my house in some way.

My cats are a part of my family and not having them returned to me was more than I could stand. So they are on my mantel watching over me.

Reply
Cindy Wolff
6/8/2016 07:13:49 am

This is from Katie Pemberton with the Memphis and Shelby County Humane Society. She commented under the peeves. I want everyone reading this post to see this too. Well said.


KATIE
6/5/2016 02:33:04 pm
I understand that it's hard for people. But can we not make that ONE moment about our pet's feelings and not our own? When I'm dying, if my husband chose not to be with me because he would prefer to remember me living...I can't even describe how much that would hurt me.

Reply



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    Cindy Wolff, Author

    I've never trusted people who don't have a little dog hair on them. >>>

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